Have not been blogging for a quite a while. Guess it does take a bit of energy & time for one to pen down all those tots and emotions.
~
The transition was tough. Everything just happened too fast.
My last days at 7-E was kinda painful... sucking every bit of energy off me. Went through a stressful and draining period, having to handle an event which I dun have much experience in.. & I felt that I didn't have enough support. It was kinda like a one man show... but I'm still thankful there's Madeline when i needed help.
I survived and left in 1 piece.. duo my ex-colleagues said that I literally “crawled” out of the company. Actually was kinda sad that I didn't have a proper farewell on my last day. Was still rushing some stuff till the very last sec to knock off time.
2 years. Time files.
I see how I have “grown” in this working world.. and how my eyes have “opened up” to the many things that I didn’t even notice or tot of before. Wasn’t really a pretty picture I must say.
Was a tough learning ground.. but i'm thankful for this job. It was what I very much wanted to do.
~
Joined the new company within a few days.. Didn't get much rest & I "carried my emotional baggage over”.. plus my physically tiredness.
Already was required to do the "real work" on my 1st day. Stress.
During my 1st week I was already dragging myself to work.
2nd week.. I started to have tots of quitting. Not that i don't like my job... but i'm just soooooo burnt out already.
Glad i've just survived my 3rd week.
Next 1.5 weeks will be a break for me.. Finally.. the long awaited trip.
~
Maybe the past 2 months won't have been so bad if I would have relied on Him. I must admit.. I've been running my own show.
I've been away. Far away.
I know He's there.. and somehow I think I still "hear" Him.
But... in a “rebellious state” now I guess.
I just feel like "dropping everything" and withdraw.
No energy to run this race anymore. 我什么都不想做。
~
Not happy with the way things are now.. and don't like the way I am.
Not in a very positive state and I know I'm dwelling in it.
But I keep having this phrase at the back of my mind... "离开了喜乐的源头，如何能喜乐呢?"
I'll find back my joy.
~
Too many times.. for too many things.. I looked back @ the past.
"If only I have..."
"If only I have not..."
Must there be a closure to all things?
I find myself very much still living in the past.
How I wish one can simply just “flip & start on a fresh page".
~
Am in the stage of life where my peers are getting married. Each time I attend a wedding, the more I feel I'm "far from being there." Ha.. to start with, there's no one to marry to. But the point is.. Marriage is really not a child's play.
It takes a lot to come to that stage.. trust, communication, companionship.. and life-long commitment.
I use to fear marriage. I think I still do. Though I always joke about wanting to settle down at the age of 28.
Sometimes, I feel that I no longer know how to love.
Have lost it.
~
Don't know why.. today decided to spit out my tots.
Have been "quiet" for a while. Not only in terms of blogging.
Maybe today I had a bit of time to think during my bus ride to work. Went back to finish up the stuff I need to do b4 I go for my long leave.
Bad thing about working in a mall. Temptation is all around.
Generally I'm quite discipline.. but today wasn't the norm.
Guess I needed some retail therapy. Bought a pair of shoes, a bag, a top, a bottom and some accessories. Haha.. full set.
Actually I shouldn't be spending when I'm going for holiday real soon.
~
Thought of getting a camera. Canon Ixus 75.
My Powershot died on me already.
Initially thought of going Perth w/o bringing camera.. Ha.. but kinda change my mind now.
Not sure if I've got time tml.
~
Late. Time to sleep.
