Thoughts Downloaded

Have not been blogging for a quite a while. Guess it does take a bit of energy & time for one to pen down all those tots and emotions.

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The transition was tough. Everything just happened too fast.

My last days at 7-E was kinda painful... sucking every bit of energy off me. Went through a stressful and draining period, having to handle an event which I dun have much experience in.. & I felt that I didn't have enough support. It was kinda like a one man show... but I'm still thankful there's Madeline when i needed help.

I survived and left in 1 piece.. duo my ex-colleagues said that I literally “crawled” out of the company. Actually was kinda sad that I didn't have a proper farewell on my last day. Was still rushing some stuff till the very last sec to knock off time.

2 years. Time files.

I see how I have “grown” in this working world.. and how my eyes have “opened up” to the many things that I didn’t even notice or tot of before. Wasn’t really a pretty picture I must say.

Was a tough learning ground.. but i'm thankful for this job. It was what I very much wanted to do.

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Joined the new company within a few days.. Didn't get much rest & I "carried my emotional baggage over”.. plus my physically tiredness.

Already was required to do the "real work" on my 1st day. Stress.

During my 1st week I was already dragging myself to work.

2nd week.. I started to have tots of quitting. Not that i don't like my job... but i'm just soooooo burnt out already.

Glad i've just survived my 3rd week.

Next 1.5 weeks will be a break for me.. Finally.. the long awaited trip.

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Maybe the past 2 months won't have been so bad if I would have relied on Him. I must admit.. I've been running my own show.

I've been away. Far away.

I know He's there.. and somehow I think I still "hear" Him.

But... in a “rebellious state” now I guess.

I just feel like "dropping everything" and withdraw.

No energy to run this race anymore. 我什么都不想做。

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Not happy with the way things are now.. and don't like the way I am.

Not in a very positive state and I know I'm dwelling in it.

But I keep having this phrase at the back of my mind... "离开了喜乐的源头，如何能喜乐呢?"

I'll find back my joy.

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Too many times.. for too many things.. I looked back @ the past.

"If only I have..."

"If only I have not..."

Must there be a closure to all things?

I find myself very much still living in the past.

How I wish one can simply just “flip & start on a fresh page".

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Am in the stage of life where my peers are getting married. Each time I attend a wedding, the more I feel I'm "far from being there." Ha.. to start with, there's no one to marry to. But the point is.. Marriage is really not a child's play.

It takes a lot to come to that stage.. trust, communication, companionship.. and life-long commitment.

I use to fear marriage. I think I still do. Though I always joke about wanting to settle down at the age of 28.

Sometimes, I feel that I no longer know how to love.

Have lost it.
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Don't know why.. today decided to spit out my tots.

Have been "quiet" for a while. Not only in terms of blogging.

Maybe today I had a bit of time to think during my bus ride to work. Went back to finish up the stuff I need to do b4 I go for my long leave.

Bad thing about working in a mall. Temptation is all around.

Generally I'm quite discipline.. but today wasn't the norm.

Guess I needed some retail therapy. Bought a pair of shoes, a bag, a top, a bottom and some accessories. Haha.. full set.

Actually I shouldn't be spending when I'm going for holiday real soon.

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Thought of getting a camera. Canon Ixus 75.

My Powershot died on me already.

Initially thought of going Perth w/o bringing camera.. Ha.. but kinda change my mind now.

Not sure if I've got time tml.

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Late. Time to sleep.