Ready

FINALLY...

I started my job search.. TODAY! Sent out my 1st resume.

Has been procrastinating for the longest time.. trying to "prep" myself to enter this CYCLE of.....

waiting for the right openings..
sending out resumes..
waiting for calls for interviews..
going for interviews..
waiting for calls for 2nd interviews..
going for 2nd interviews..
waiting for the positive reply..

and the cycle goes on.

WAIT.

Hmmm.. guess lotsa things in life are like this.. the waiting game.

The previous round.. I didn't have to wait for long.. response was good..

But this time round..

Kinda fearful that it will be a long wait for me before I get employed again.

They must be wondering why this woman is unemployed for so long.. and how come she left the previous company jus after 2 mths.. hai.. got to smoke through all these ques during the interview.. and that is if I get one.

Hmmm.. I must say I'm really really thankful that my parents give me their "blessings" while I take this long break. I have the PEACE & FREEDOM of bumping around.. go travel.. wake up late.. nua-ing at home and do nothing.. and not even once did they nag at me for not looking for a job! Hee.. I know this is the way they show their love.

And mum is sooooo sweet.. I noticed this after "monitoring" for a few weeks.. Without fail.. everyday when i wake up.. the 1st thing she'll say to me is “你要吃什么？我去买...”

We are never the expressive sort.. we don't display our affection outwardly..

Guess every parents show their love in their own unique ways.. we jus got to "discover" them.. and guess this can only be done by spending time with them. Yeh.. I'm guilty of not staying at home all the time.. but this period has really allowed some family bonding. I've been eating dinner at home most of the time! Hee.. also to save some money la...


Chance upon this song by Twins.. 我很想爱他。

I like it.. nice.. but kinda sad..

past and present

i totally forgot abt it.. chance upon the date on the CD i 'made' previously.. so 巧，是五年前的今天，17 jan.

~

2003 was indeed an eventful year.

quitted my job.. went back to sch, joined "nian shao huo li" camp, went BK, joined mission trip to Ban Pai, went for alpha camp.

sometimes we keep ourselves busy jus to drown ourselves from thinking and feeling too much.

~

it's not so bad.. jus need to get myself "in order" again.

回到原点。找回起初。

~

十多年了... we went through different phases.. chose different paths.. and we're all so different! but amazingly.. we still bonded together.

i jus love my dear flowers lots!

thankful.

~

i jus saw a sign.

no.. not 1.. but many.

should i? or rather, can i?

~

i need to wake up earlier! =(

What's Found?

2008

1st entry for 2008.

Already into the 3rd week of Jan.

Has been a while since I last blog.. so much activities happened since then.

New Year, 5 Jan prog, trip to Taiwan.. and now back to face the reality.

~

Left for the trip without doing what i needed to do.. without saying what i wanted to say.

Left for the trip having... "回来了，就应该收拾心情了" in my mind.

~

Back for 2 days le, am still unable to settle down and focus.

Ok, i gave myself the excuse that I wasn't feeling too well.. slept my days away to drown the pain.. was down with stomach flu since Sun and my calves hurt big time too. Can't even stretch it straight when i walk.. all thanks to the arcade basketball. ha.. I think "Yoko Yoko" works.

Kinda stress over not able to "get started".

好烦.

~

Packed that top cabinet today.

Think it was left untouched for 2-3 years le. I can't rem what was inside.

Found some old text books/projects from poly and uni days.. sec sch year book... my 1st discipleship course textbook.. report cards/books from kindergarten to sec sch.. photo albums.. boxes of cards and letters since the younger days.. pressies from past relationships..

I know I'll be affected.. yet I went ahead, with anxiety.

Flipped through the old photos.. unwrapped the pressies once again.. read through the letters by them..

Can't rem i've received some of them before.. but seriously, it has been many years.. some even dated back to 10 years ago.

Some jus feel like it's the 1st time i'm reading them..

So much said.. so much happened. The sweet times, the quarrels, the miscoms.

Some things still do cast a dark shadow, but this time round when I re-read the letters, I realize I really appreciate what was done before.. his whole-heartedness.

Some other.. u jus wonder why. The one with the most memories, is the most painful one. Not sure if there were ever a closure before after so many years.

~

故事结束后，不是应该收场了吗？

这些东西不只是用过的 “道具” 而已.

有时，是觉得有点傻。保留下的，不都是 “曾经” 吗？

理智上是那么想。

但现实上，人还是有感情，是喜欢收藏回忆的动物。

~

Didn’t remember NR had written so much, done so much.. until I put all the letters and cards together. I was taken aback.. I cried big time. Cried bcos I was full of 感激。Really really thankful. It was all so selfless. I will remember the NR then. Some things may have changed but I know this guardian angel is still around. Thank you.

~

It’s a sad thing letter-writing culture is slowly gone le.. nowadays people only communicate via sms, msn or emails. The heart and mind put into writing letters and cards make them very precious and personal.

~

Yup, end of the day.. I didn’t finish packing that cabinet.