m.e. HIS Child

Bottle~

2008-09-15T01:41:00.001+08:00

Sometimes it’s good to uncover it earlier... to air it, in case it starts to smell.

It’s unfair.

Everyone’s different.. please do not have such expectations from me.

I’m only asking for your empathy.. that’s all I need.

But to empathies what? Nobody can tell.. cos they were all mysteries to you.

So I blame no one.

But can I know that you will still support me even though you may not know?

I know what I’m doing.

I just hope you can stand by me and not put me down.

Once again I wonder.. isn’t “Love is to protect?”

moti~

2008-07-29T00:38:00.000+08:00

someone told me today..

"there's always a lot of things in this world that will give you strength…"

i find this so so true... =)

we just need to discover "the source" of this strength.. and most prob, we'll be able to pull through in any circumstances.

many things that we do are due to motivation from somewhere or someone...

what motivates you?

2008-07-27T23:54:00.003+08:00

weekend is over in a blink of an eye!

these few months, time seems to pass faster than usual.

hmm.. at least now i'm beginning to look forward to work a little more.

for some people, jogging seems like a breeze for them..

this is what i always observe at the stadium.. some people look like they are "floating"! not much effort required! haha.. so envious..

last week.. i dreamt of me running & running & running.. non-stop.. but yet it was effortless! Ha.. if only i've that stamina in real life!

somehow i'm starting to get bored of running on tracks le.. maybe bcos keep jogging in circles and keep seeing the same old thingy..

Bit Bit made a new fren today! Blu Blu~

Has been a long while since i last received stuff toy as pressie! Hee.

Blu Blu & Bit Bit

常听人说 "旧的不去，新的不来"...

一定是这样吗？

新的不来，旧的如何去呢？

too much looking back into the past will hinder us to move forward.

but yet again.. there must be things for us to look forward to.

想搭火车。。。

One of my "loves"..

2008-07-20T23:31:00.001+08:00

I love Vespa.

Pink Vespa.

but I can't drive one.

So I can only buy a Pink Vespa toy..

but i wanna ride on a real one!

=)

2008-07-17T23:15:00.006+08:00

guess god has heard my cries of boredom! hee. jus yest i was feeling down cos of work and stuff.. then today i was called in to talk about my job scope! there are some re-shufflement due to people leaving.. and they do rem my request. but i'm not sure what i'm up for duo.. hope the additional responsibilities wun need me to work too late. hee.

the dvd's finally done! it feels like a long long process. i must say i've learnt alot along the way.. managing people.. managing my expectations.. about self-awareness.. about being humble. and i've learnt that tech prob is such a pain!!! ha.. we have certainly overcome many many that occurred @ diff stages of production.. even till the very last! and now i know how to use the movie-maker prog le! hehe. looking at the long list of names on the credits page.. indeed.. this production wouldn’t be possible without their support. thank you. =)

i’ve also learnt that my laptop has kanna some virus =(

happy 2-month old birthday to our dear bb samuel!

Soooo0 chubby and cute! hee.. when can i see you again??

our first “outing” with bb was so fun!

it was really a different experience having a baby in the group. =)

gonna sleep early tonight to get recharged for the weekend!

fri's finally here again! la la la...

睡...

2008-07-16T16:05:00.001+08:00

Dejected with panda eyes…

今天的时间真得有点难过。。好想，好想，好想。。。睡。

head’s spinning.. it wouldn’t be so bad if there’s work.. but.. sigh.. as usual.

真的会疯掉。。

有点要hit 我的 limit 了。。 guess I should voice out again.

tempted to go.. but yet it’s really too soon. I don’t wanna be seen as a job-hopper.. =(

没想到我的career path会是这样。。bleah..

Hope that tonight we can successfully submit the dvd to the vendor.. then all of us can have a good sleep！老了。。快要不行了。Not only physically..

我要睡。。。 2 more hours to go =(

I fear...

2008-06-28T00:41:00.003+08:00

she's not someone whom i always had mind.. but whenever i read about "her" from the various sources.. my heart felt so so heavy. i dunno why. i'm not exactly close to her.. but in my memories she was really sweet & nice to me. she's someone "close to heart".. but yet not. i dunno how to describe this feeling. i fear.. i fear the day when i hear the news that.... it feels like it may happen "anytime". i jus read from somewhere.. and it didn't sound very positive. that scene of jus me and her talking at their house is still so vivid in my mind.. been so so so many years. can't rem what we talked about.. but was jus us. i saw her a few weeks ago.. caught a few glimpse of her.. wanted to go over.. but yet.. i didn't dare to. felt kinda sad.. i'm really touched by how her love ones showered her with love & care.. i wish her well..

改变 = 跟以往不一样 = 多了什么或少了什么

the "leap year meet-up" was quite interesting =)

nothing's constant. your feelings towards something/someone at different phase of your life will turn out different. or maybe that something/someone has also changed over time as well?

hmmm.. somehow tml feels like a "working day". ha.. okies.. muz do things with joy joy joy! ha.. more deadlines than my actual work =X

looking forward to the "adventure"!

*yawn*

love.joy.peace.hope

2008-06-27T14:39:00.006+08:00

Was going through some of those old “forwarded emails” which have been archived in my mailbox for many many years.. found this quite meaningful and encouraging.

Indeed…

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1) and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)”

~

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be; your roommate, your neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you and at the time they seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never have realized your potential, strength, will power of heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments or true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of the soul.

Without these small tests, events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smooth paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet, who affect your life.. the successes and downfalls you experience, they are the ones who create who you are. Even the bad experience can be learned from... Those lessons are the hardest and probably the most important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart... forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen, let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it.

I wish you all the best in your endeavors as well as struggles in life. Have a fighting spirit and never hesitate to get back in the struggle!

~ Author Unknown ~

dripsss and drapsss

2008-06-18T23:38:00.001+08:00

new term : "mouldification" -- the act/process of turning mouldy.

that's happening @ work now.

*

and i hate it when people poke his nose into other people's business.. plus i can sense the sarcasm.

that's happening @ work now too.

*

got pissed early in the morning by an unwelcomed msn msg. =(

*

i never believe in pms or mood swings.. but now i do. ha.. guess it comes with age.

or maybe it's caused by the lack of "happy food"?

*

i believe in 'self-healing'.. ha.. and i know i'm gifted in this area.

thank god for this.

just me & him and nobody else.

*

bleah.. don't seems to work.. can't see the effect.

*

am enjoying reading my new pretty devotional bible. hee.

*

somehow there's a barrier.. it's not the same.

*

walked.. walked for 2 bus stops.. it's a cooling night tonight.

结婚~

2008-06-16T00:17:00.005+08:00

attended my uni ex-classmate's wedding last sun.. it didn't turn out as "bad" as i tot. was actually contemplating if i should go..

there are a few scenarios where one will "struggle a bit" when it comes to attending weddings..

1. when u're alone & don't know anyone except the bride/groom.
2. when u've not contacted your friends for ages & having to make conversations with them throughout the dinner.
3. when u've gain like 10kg and having people asking you what happen.
4. when attending an ex-bf/gf's wedding.

it was enjoyable & i’m glad although it has been a while since I last met my “clique”.. the rapport is still there =)

somehow.. I can really at ease with them.

And i’m going on a trip with mc!!! We talked about it one day after the wedding.. and the following day air tix are booked!

my new quote! "spontaneity makes things happen"

sometimes when we "think about it".. we'll miss the "moment" & things will never actualize.

really looking forward to the trip.. cos it's not the usual "eat and shop" holiday.. and the tot that there's only 2 of us makes it more exciting! Ha.. bought travel insurance le! =P

new places, new people, new perspective, new experience, new hope, new life, new insights, new loves, new growth, new.. i need something new!

sometimes taking a new bus route can be quite fun too.

~

Weeee.... still got 1 year & 4 months to go!

i love hortpark! i wanna go there again!

Into mid-year!

2008-05-28T00:24:00.002+08:00

May is coming to an end and it's going to be pay-day soon!

And my probation period will be over real soon! yeh!

Has been spending a lot this mth.. esp my eyes have "suck away" a big portion of my savings. but it's worth it! Realise like this mth I've been more generous towards myself.. Ha =)

I think with GSS + 2 big "red bombs", I'll be spending much more in Jun =P

It's so hard to shop on weekends during sale period.. everywhere's soooooo crowded! Hate it when I have to queue.. Hee.. maybe I should take leave someday to shop.

There's something meaningful that I hope I can get my hands on real soon.. so that I can start this new commitment! Sometimes u just need something nice/new to motivate u a bit. =)

~

那一天，真的觉得累了。可能是忘了原有的目的。。为了做而做, 为了赶而赶。

其实，再多的时间也是没用的。

突然间，好像是 overdosed of something.. 不想在吃下去了。I need a short break, 虽然是 overdue 了一点。

~

疼一个人是一件很奇妙的事。There's so much, so much that u jus wanna do for him/her!

Baby Samuel ~ Day 1 & Day 8! =)

~

A fren sent me this song that I've been listening on my MP3 almost everyday! An 11+min medley of many nice love songs!

古巨基 -- 情歌王

once i was "blind", but now i see!

2008-05-08T23:20:00.000+08:00

today.. i finally fulfilled the "dream" i had 7 years ago! happi.

vision is getting clearer as time pass.. hee.. at this moment i think i'm about 50-100 degree short-sightedness.

it was jus a quick 10 minutes for the actual surgery. painless i would say.. maybe just a bit of discomfort. i can actually "feel" the whole process.. like how dr theng flip open my cornea.. but he's really nice and gentle.. explaining each step he made.

i was actually a bit tense while at the waiting room where the nurses had to clean my eyes before the surgery.. but in front of me was a picture with this verse..

“when I am afraid, I will trust in you. psalm 56:3”

i’m sure it is there for a purpose & it really helps me lots. prayed.

service at eagle eye centre is really good.. all the staff are very professional. i even receive a call from them in the evening asking if everything is ok.

had a pleasant surprise cos the recep told me dr theng gave me a $100 discount.. guess bcos i was a referral. hee =)

haha.. now I finally be able to see what’s in front of me when I go swimming!

好想。。

2008-04-27T02:16:00.002+08:00

had a dinner gathering with my colleagues earlier cos 老二's wife came to visit him. we were thinking of places where they can go and realize it's so limited! Sentosa.. Mandai Zoo.. Night Safari.. and maybe the latest addition - S'pore Flyer.. which they tried and said it's nice. hmmm.. not too sure.

after dinner.. we walked from Boat Quay to Fullerton to Esplanade.. taking pix along the way.. lotsa youngsters.. & couples too.

tot of the times when we use to hang out late.. roaming aimlessly on the streets.. singing songs.. giving each other names.. like silly chicken? hee.

tot of the times when i took my grad pix with the sim peeps..

tot of the times when we explored places together..

tot of my 21st birthday..

tot of so many things..

such sweet memories.

looking at 老二 & wife.. i'm sure they miss each other lots. newly-wed yet have to live apart.. don't think i can survive a long distant relationship.

was telling my colleague.. today is the 1st time I see 老二 walking at such a slow pace.. always see him "dashing around" in the office and worse off during the biz trip .. i literally need to run to catch up with him.

guess when u're with your love ones.. u're in your most relaxed state.. enjoying your partner’s presence.

can see that they really treasure every moment together.

how sweet.

missing some peeps...

我等。。

某年，某日, 又能和某个"他"一起 explore places, 分享生命.

我好想出国..

好想体验新的东西..

点点滴滴...

2008-04-20T19:01:00.001+08:00

Laughed so much for the past 2 days.. during 立约 and fellowship.. how de-stressing. Always looking forward to weekends! Ha.. who doesn’t?

I think it's only when I'm with my close pals that I would hack care abt 形象 and let my hair down.. Yah.. and do all the un-glam stuff! Ha..

Yesterday's 1735 session felt so much like the past 团契days.. esp during the worship part -- it's like going back to the “every sat 3.30pm @ music room” gatherings many years back. 感觉很好。=）

Past week has been quite "exciting". Sometimes u never know what is to come.. expect the unexpected. 有时候，我真觉得上帝在跟我开玩笑。Letting me go through the 2 extremes.. then at a timely moment, offer something that seems to be like "in between". Very tempted but too big a risk to take.. chose to stay @ 原点 in the end. And since there may be some improvement, I hope. Shall be more patient.

Guess after each episode, we become more aware of what we want and what’s impt to us. Am learning to "凡是感恩" and see the good out of every situation. No matter where we go, that’s sh*t anyway.. Ha.. jus diff level of sh*tty-ness.

Recently I recalled, when I was 20, I ever told my boss that I will save up for Lasik and go do it one fine day. Actually 没有刻意的去省钱 for this.. but when I can afford, I start to contemplate again.. abt pain.. side effects etc. But it’s still something that I very much wanted to do.. So FINALLY I promise myself that this year, by June I hope, I shall go fulfill this "teenage dream"! =)

I am such a big procrastinator for many things. But sometimes.. we really can’t afford missed opportunities.. so if we can act on it.. we act on it NOW!

有时候，想说的就说，想做的就去做!

Not easy duo..

Nice Hokkien song that was sang during svc today..
http://blog.xuite.net/shr4876/songs/6162397

So fast.. Monday is here!

2008-04-02T02:24:00.000+08:00

又要飞了。。这一次是一个人了。

This is yet another new experience.

And my 1st time working with a foreign ad agency. Hope everything will go smoothly and as planned.

Being stretched to be more independent.. in terms of making work-related decisions.

Praying for safety and journey mercy. Lotsa cabbing needed.. esp to and from hotel and studio on Thur and Fri.

Heard some pple's exp of being dropped off before reaching their destination..

Hope that doesn’t happen to me!

Sometimes.. uncertainty and unknown do bring about some excitement. Ha..

A Very Special Easter Indeed!

2008-03-23T23:18:00.002+08:00

Took a short cab ride from the hotel to The Evangelical Church of Bangkok for the 11am service. It was a random search on the net for a nearby church that brought me to this place!

The service, the choir, the message and the people.. they were great! Majority of the members are expiates working here in BBK. Saw a handful of Thai as well.. They were so warm and friendly and I felt so much at home. It was good.. to know that you can worship Him no matter where you are.. and together with people of different races and nationality.

And we know that on this very special day, happening at different parts of the world.. His people are coming together to commemorate His resurrection!

Spent the rest of the day walking (a lot!) and shopping.. then met my boss and the rep from Malaysia in the evening at MBK for more (window) shopping! Didn’t buy much during this trip.. maybe bcos I'm not in a “holiday mood”.. ha..

We went to a Thai restaurant near our hotel for dinner.. finally get to eat some authentic Thai food!

We had a feast!

9 dishes in quite big serving for jus 3 pax!

Haha.. We max out the amt we can claim for dinner! =P

The only day I didn't go for massage.. Haha.. cos I was too full and tired!

Sawadee-kah!

2008-03-23T02:43:00.002+08:00

Just came back from a 2hr-massage! =D

Seldom will I want to blog in detail what I do everyday.. but this gonna be a exception!

Cos I need to kill time! Ha.. It was a challenge trying to keep myself awake while at the factory these past 2 days.

As I only have a laptop w/o internet connection.. I can only keep myself occupied by going through my predecessor’s emails and files.. upload pix.. and blog in Word 1st.

~

20 March (Thur)

Touched down at about 10pm, BBK time.. Flight was delayed by half an hour.

The journey from office to airport felt sooooo long.. maybe bcos nobody talks throughout the journey. We quickly checked in once we reached the airport.. Although there’s still quite a bit of time to boarding.. everyone seems to be in rush! Really 好象在赶飞机.. Ha.

Anyway I didn’t know SQ has these self-automated terminals where I can simply print out my boarding pass.. no need to queue and we didn’t checked in our luggage.. so it was a breeze!

Grabbed a cup of coffee from Spinalli while waiting for the time to board.

Upon arrival, it was another rush! Those guys walked super duper fast!

Is that the difference between going on a biz trip and leisure trip? Yah.. another thing about biz trip is everything is “own time own target”. You eat, sleep, travel by all yourself! Ha.. how lonely.. =D

Checked-in to our hotel situated @ Sukhumvit. Room is rather nice and very spacious! Has got this full length mirror which I like. Heh..

It’s quite nice staying alone actually.. Haha.. freedom.

Unpacked my stuff.. hung all my clothings properly and I went out to the nearby 7-Eleven to stock up on water and some food.

Haha.. couldn’t resist the temptation of massage.. so went for an hour of foot reflex jus outside the hotel.. duo it’s already almost 12am! Only 250 baht. Shiok.. =D

~

21 March (Fri)

Woke up @ 5.40am! Super early.. have to gather @ 7am.

Then it was a 45mins travel to the TSB factory. Today & tml are for us to set-up the venue and prepare the presentation materials for Monday’s conference. But when we reached.. we were told that the room we booked is only ava @ 1pm! Meaning.. nothing to do till then! Such waste of time actually.

No wonder my boss keep saying.. we must “play by ear”. Guess it’s a culture thingy.. and very often dealing with different languages often result in miscom.

Something interesting here @ TSB office. Lights will only be on @ 8am sharp.. Energy saving. So for those early birds.. they have to work or eat their breakfast in the dark. At 8am.. some TSB Jap song was played.. after which everyone stood up for their national anthem.. and was followed by some morning stretching exercising! The steps and music were played over the PA system and everyone was doing it @ their workstation! Heard they will do this everyday. Interesting…

Guess what.. from 8am to 7pm.. the only thing I did was the room set-up which took less than an hour. Killing time was tough. Actually was also waiting for the presentation materials from the big bosses so that I can collate and print that will really take a while.. but it wasn’t ready. Was told got to wait till Sat noon le. Sigh..

Had Sabu Sabu for dinner with the bosses and reps from HQ. Initially I felt kinda awkward cos got to eat with other 5 men (4 Jap and 1 Sing). But after a while, it was ok when we started talking.. ha.. but language is definitely a challenge.

The beef slices were fantastic! Oishi!

Went back hotel to put my lappy before I went out again. Took a walk to "Soi Cowboy" the “red light district” of this area.. jus a few street down the hotel.. Then it was an hour’s of body massage before I end the night.

Fried worm, grasshopper, cockroach, beatle or frog, anyone??

22 March (Sat)

Was almost late today!

Suppose to gather @ 8.30am.. but when I literally jump out of my bed.. it was already 8.10am!

Hehe.. so 难得 I can bathe and dress up within 20mins! Can’t imagine what will happen if I’m late.. Jap are very particular about punctuality.

But no breakfast for me.. =( Grabbed with me a pack of Poky and seaweed that I bought on the 1st night.

Went for a short factory tour in the morning.. and it’s waiting time again. Nothing for me to do till 2plus.. and was occupied till 6plus. Was so happy when there’s work! Haha..

My S$1 lunch @ the factory's canteen! Cheap!

Then it was dinner with the same group of people. Hmmm.. thought I would get to have my own time. They really know where all the good Jap food are.. much much better than Singapore’s and definitely price as well.

Place where I just came back from. Massage.. and more massage!

Happy Easter!

我要飞!

2008-03-20T02:26:00.000+08:00

Just finish packing my barang into my little new luggage bag!

Went around looking for one nice one last week.. but eventually the one I bought was the one I 1st spotted @ Tangs VivoCity with Jess. I even went to Mustafa to check out their range.. Their luggage dept is much much bigger than Taka/Tangs/OG's! I must say they did a good job in their merchandising.. you can find ANYTHING you need there!

I shopped till 1.30am that night.. alone! =P Hehe.. there should be more 24hr shopping places in S'pore!

Have not been blogging for a while..

The past month revolved around me going for interviews and eventually landing up with this job that I'm in for 2 weeks already. Everything happened so fast.. i had to decide fast. Am really thankful for those "God-sent angels" who helped this indecisive gal here decide. Talking to people can really challenge your thoughts and also help u see things in different perspective.

Some time ago when i was still jobless.. i wrote on my facebook "i still want to travel.. but i need a job too!" Yup.. now am blessed with a job.. and i get to fly too! I was told of tml's trip to Bangkok on my very 1st day of work! Ha.. How exciting... =D

Hmmm.. but the tot of travelling with bosses isn't really very fun. Esp when i'm still so new.. and Jap culture, like what we studied in textbooks, is of high-power distance. So well.. to keep myself entertained.. i've equipped myself with a BOOK (hee.. started to pick up reading during the past months) and my new toy.. which i think is really sleek!

Hee.. I'm bringing my little friend with me too! she'll keep me company @ nite. Haha.. Hope nobody discover her!

And my cute mummy keeps reminding me to bring my bible! Quite nice to hear that.. but I know she meant it for certain purpose la. Ha.. Cheeky me jokingly asked her if I should bring some garlic too! =P

Well.. this year I'll have a different Good Fri & Easter Day le. But I believe it'll still be a special one. =)

But such a pity I can't be around this sun during my 2 bro's baptisim..

Hope all things goes well.. don’t know what to anticipate.. but guess that’s what makes things exciting! looking forward! =)

想

2008-02-23T23:47:00.000+08:00

musical's finally over... dun dun 辛苦了！大家辛苦了！

this has come a long way..

and it's really nice to see how everyone 同工 together.. seeing that we are "of different parts and functions".. yet all belonging to the same body of Christ.

everyone's unique. =)

~

fear sleeping.

such a torture every night.. to move in and out and back into the room.

such disrupted sleep.

and it doesn't help that so many things are occupied in my mind..

good thing i'm not working now. wake up everyday feeling like i have not even sleep.

a few more months.. i hope.

at least heard from bro that renovation starts next week! finally..

~

wait.

there are so many things that I'm waiting for.

for the little little little things... to the big big issues of life.

a lesson of trust and patience.

and of wisdom too.

one of the 台词 from the musical say something about.. 你所等待的, 可能根本都不纯在.

how scary..

how i wish we would know.. 那就不会傻傻的, 白白的等了.

~

this works.

but sometimes i just wonder if this is the best way.

maybe not.. but it works.

but yet, can be quite painful.

but.. but.. but..

ha.. life is just full of dilemmas.

na, i still think this is so qiao.. cos it's given to you and you only.

and i think you're so smart.. u can write a book too.. heh..

~

有一些东西不需要理由... 因为我真的找不到。

Love is...

2008-02-14T23:46:00.000+08:00

valentine's day is about celebrating friendships too!

had a good time with my love ones tonight =)

LOVE IS....

happy valentine's day!

love ya!

2008-02-06T12:10:00.000+08:00

Susu and Bit Bit hereby wishing everyone a
Happy Lunar New Year!
~
新年蒙恩!
~

Hehe.. Bit Bit is dressed for CNY too! ; )

Bit Bit 满月了！

2008-02-06T01:40:00.000+08:00

That's Bit Bit on my bed..

with the clean, nice-smelling bedsheet and quilt cover which I jus changed this afternoon for CNY!

Bit Bit.. My 1-mth old rabbit stuff toy. =)

I picked her up from the streets of Xi Men Ding on the very 1st day in Taiwan ~ 6 Jan.

She caught my eyes as I walked pass the 路边摊。

She was my very 1st purchase and it was "love at 1st sight".

She has been sleeping with me every night in Taiwan and now back in S'pore too.

I'll look at her every night before I sleep..

我也不知道它是喜，是怒，是哀还是乐。。。

因为它没有嘴巴。

是笑着的吗？还是扁着嘴呢？

Hmmm.. 或许是主人心情如何它的心情就如何吧！

Just love her lots!

See Bit Bit in action in Taiwan!

Bit Bit sleeping on the cozy bed shared with susu and fang yi.

Bit Bit showing off her body! =P

Bit Bit watching Taiwan variety show with fang yi, susu & zy.

Bit Bit sitting on "Momo Bag" together with susu's luggague. 回家了！

Don't worry.. I'm still very sane up there.. =D

Ready

2008-01-31T00:35:00.000+08:00

FINALLY...

I started my job search.. TODAY! Sent out my 1st resume.

Has been procrastinating for the longest time.. trying to "prep" myself to enter this CYCLE of.....

waiting for the right openings..
sending out resumes..
waiting for calls for interviews..
going for interviews..
waiting for calls for 2nd interviews..
going for 2nd interviews..
waiting for the positive reply..

and the cycle goes on.

WAIT.

Hmmm.. guess lotsa things in life are like this.. the waiting game.

The previous round.. I didn't have to wait for long.. response was good..

But this time round..

Kinda fearful that it will be a long wait for me before I get employed again.

They must be wondering why this woman is unemployed for so long.. and how come she left the previous company jus after 2 mths.. hai.. got to smoke through all these ques during the interview.. and that is if I get one.

Hmmm.. I must say I'm really really thankful that my parents give me their "blessings" while I take this long break. I have the PEACE & FREEDOM of bumping around.. go travel.. wake up late.. nua-ing at home and do nothing.. and not even once did they nag at me for not looking for a job! Hee.. I know this is the way they show their love.

And mum is sooooo sweet.. I noticed this after "monitoring" for a few weeks.. Without fail.. everyday when i wake up.. the 1st thing she'll say to me is “你要吃什么？我去买...”

We are never the expressive sort.. we don't display our affection outwardly..

Guess every parents show their love in their own unique ways.. we jus got to "discover" them.. and guess this can only be done by spending time with them. Yeh.. I'm guilty of not staying at home all the time.. but this period has really allowed some family bonding. I've been eating dinner at home most of the time! Hee.. also to save some money la...

Chance upon this song by Twins.. 我很想爱他。

I like it.. nice.. but kinda sad..

past and present

2008-01-17T23:53:00.000+08:00

i totally forgot abt it.. chance upon the date on the CD i 'made' previously.. so 巧，是五年前的今天，17 jan.

~

2003 was indeed an eventful year.

quitted my job.. went back to sch, joined "nian shao huo li" camp, went BK, joined mission trip to Ban Pai, went for alpha camp.

sometimes we keep ourselves busy jus to drown ourselves from thinking and feeling too much.

~

it's not so bad.. jus need to get myself "in order" again.

回到原点。找回起初。

~

十多年了... we went through different phases.. chose different paths.. and we're all so different! but amazingly.. we still bonded together.

i jus love my dear flowers lots!

thankful.

~

i jus saw a sign.

no.. not 1.. but many.

should i? or rather, can i?

~

i need to wake up earlier! =(

What's Found?

2008-01-16T16:40:00.000+08:00

2008

2008-01-15T02:34:00.000+08:00

1st entry for 2008.

Already into the 3rd week of Jan.

Has been a while since I last blog.. so much activities happened since then.

New Year, 5 Jan prog, trip to Taiwan.. and now back to face the reality.

~

Left for the trip without doing what i needed to do.. without saying what i wanted to say.

Left for the trip having... "回来了，就应该收拾心情了" in my mind.

~

Back for 2 days le, am still unable to settle down and focus.

Ok, i gave myself the excuse that I wasn't feeling too well.. slept my days away to drown the pain.. was down with stomach flu since Sun and my calves hurt big time too. Can't even stretch it straight when i walk.. all thanks to the arcade basketball. ha.. I think "Yoko Yoko" works.

Kinda stress over not able to "get started".

好烦.

~

Packed that top cabinet today.

Think it was left untouched for 2-3 years le. I can't rem what was inside.

Found some old text books/projects from poly and uni days.. sec sch year book... my 1st discipleship course textbook.. report cards/books from kindergarten to sec sch.. photo albums.. boxes of cards and letters since the younger days.. pressies from past relationships..

I know I'll be affected.. yet I went ahead, with anxiety.

Flipped through the old photos.. unwrapped the pressies once again.. read through the letters by them..

Can't rem i've received some of them before.. but seriously, it has been many years.. some even dated back to 10 years ago.

Some jus feel like it's the 1st time i'm reading them..

So much said.. so much happened. The sweet times, the quarrels, the miscoms.

Some things still do cast a dark shadow, but this time round when I re-read the letters, I realize I really appreciate what was done before.. his whole-heartedness.

Some other.. u jus wonder why. The one with the most memories, is the most painful one. Not sure if there were ever a closure before after so many years.

~

故事结束后，不是应该收场了吗？

这些东西不只是用过的 “道具” 而已.

有时，是觉得有点傻。保留下的，不都是 “曾经” 吗？

理智上是那么想。

但现实上，人还是有感情，是喜欢收藏回忆的动物。

~

Didn’t remember NR had written so much, done so much.. until I put all the letters and cards together. I was taken aback.. I cried big time. Cried bcos I was full of 感激。Really really thankful. It was all so selfless. I will remember the NR then. Some things may have changed but I know this guardian angel is still around. Thank you.

~

It’s a sad thing letter-writing culture is slowly gone le.. nowadays people only communicate via sms, msn or emails. The heart and mind put into writing letters and cards make them very precious and personal.

~

Yup, end of the day.. I didn’t finish packing that cabinet.

2007-12-25T23:38:00.000+08:00

~* BLESSED CHRISTMAS TO ALL! *~

Attended xmas service today.. followed by lunch with some of the bros & sis.

Like the previous years, we had carolling on the eve.

Hmmm... 今年的 Christmas 和往年的，感觉有点不同。

不再是嘻嘻哈哈的 have fun 就过了。。

Somehow 总觉得今年过的比较 purposeful一点.

~

Gift exchange at Coffee Bean last night was fun...

Xmas shopping at IMM was fun too... 我们好象四个“大孩子”一样。

And Na, thanks for getting me the Corrinne May CD which I said wanted! =P

"Five Loaves and Two Fishes" -- the song that made me want to get hold of the CD.

Love the other songs from the album too.

Touching lyrics. Beautiful vocal.

Extracted from “Stories behind the Songs”
http://cdbaby.com/cd/corrinnemay4

Five Loaves and Two Fishes – “This song is based on my favourite bible story. The story is about how Jesus made a miracle happen by taking five loaves and two fishes offered by a little boy, and using that to feed 5000 people. I think it’s an amazing story about how, no matter how small we may think about what we have to offer, we should trust that our offerings, our gifts are never wasted. Our gifts and our talents should be treasured for they can be used in many beautiful ways.”

Trips

2007-12-19T13:19:00.000+08:00

Was sorting out my photos taken since 2003.. and realise that I’m very blessed to be able to travel somewhere every year.. duo some are just nearby countries.

And real soon I’ll be flying again! =)

I miss Melboure.. Taiwan and KL lots.

Some trips are jus closer to heart..

旧照片

2007-12-19T04:54:00.000+08:00

I found the photo I want! =)

That particular scene keeps flashing in my mind and I know somebody took a pix of it.

Searched through Dun Dun's albums and found that old pix.

Started browsing all her albums again..

Was really an enjoyable "journey"...

Brought back so many happy moments together... going on trips... and yf progs.. with flowers...

好多的感触...

看见了how much people have changed.. how some things are lost.. how some things are different now.. and there are some things I wouldn’t do now..

Hmmm.. 真可惜。

很多时候... we jus can’t be ourselves..

真觉得被“控制”一样。

I guess external factors do influence.. do change things.

那无形的压力。

可能，我也需要学习吧。

如果所有的事能够简单一点，那该多好。。。

有时。。好想回到过去。

可是知道有些事只能留在记忆中。

Bits & Pieces

2007-11-25T22:56:00.000+08:00

15 Nov (Thur)

I’ve thrown in the letter once again.

Not sure why this time round I can be so decisive about quitting my job.

Actually I’m quite surprise by my own decision too.

Guess I really need a proper break.

Maybe I’m not prep physically and mentally to face the new challenges.

And for sure.. this company is kinda “too happening’ for my liking.. I don’t want any more late nights! And I don’t want having to come back on weekends for events and duty.

But on the other hand.. it’s quite a pity cos there’s a lot to learn here.. and I must say this is a fun and exciting industry.. BUT… I need a life! =D

Hmmm.. some how I feel kinda sad to leave too.. cos people here are so nice to me. They are all very understanding towards my decision.. even though my departure would mean that they’ll have more work on top of their existing “excess baggage”. I was an additional headcount to share their load.. but now.. it’s back to square one for them!

I dunno why I feel so emotional about leaving… duo I’m just here for 2 months. I’ll miss them... ZH, GW, HM, NY & ST.

ST has been extremely kind and sweet since day 1. Just last week he helped me cover some impt stuff although he’s not my buddy. And that saved me from going back to office during children’s camp. I’ll miss the late dinners together… and the little treats that came over from the partition.

Hope in my next job.. I’ll have such nice colleagues too.

16 Nov (Fri)

Went to watch the musical “You’re Special” with church peeps.

Had a bad fall while going up the escalator… which left an ugly mark on my arm. =(

Hmmm… Realize my threshold for pain is actually quite high. Haha.

Went for supper then drinks at Inter-con after the musical. Has been a long time since we last hang out this way.

17 Nov (Sat)

Hate it when time is against me and I don’t have time to make sure everything is in place.

1 day before Children’s Camp and there’re still so many things I’ve not done yet!

Didn’t have time during weekdays cos have been working late everyday. I really feel that it’s not easy managing both work and serving at the same time.

Hmmm… Feel bad that eventually I need to involve some of them to help me out.

~

The combine cell group dinner was nice.

But…

Sometimes I thought to myself.. will I experience the same thing if I’m elsewhere?

Or becos me being ME.. that’s why such things happen?

But in any case…

Love is to protect… isn’t it?

18 – 20 Nov (Sun - Tues)

Children’s Camp.

It was really challenging having to manage those kids. Haha.. esp when u put a group of boys together.

But it has been an enriching process. From preparation to the actual camp.

21 – 23 Nov (Wed – Fri)

Back to work. Late nights all the way.

But wasn’t so bad cos got company.

One more week…

24 Nov (Sat)

My first and last time doing weekend duty. 12pm to 8pm.

Glad I don’t have to do this again.

25 Nov (Sun)

Overslept. Missed service again. *shake head*

But went for the jing lao fu yan lunch @ CSC followed by bowling.

And here I am surfing at Coffee Bean since 6 plus.. din feel like going home.

Hmmm… somehow I’m looking forward to work tomorrow.

Haha.. how ironical.

Yup.. time to go home le!

jus 1 more week left...

2007-11-23T00:30:00.000+08:00

i'll miss the sweet souls around...

Back

2007-11-04T23:55:00.000+08:00

Back from trip. Back to work.

Guess it's pay-back time. Have been away for 1 week plus and now got to rush lotsa stuff. Have been working late again. Hmmm... it's only my 3rd working week. =(

~

Just finished the 9-mth long Discipleship course yesterday.

Didn't think that I’ve put in a lot of effort this time round.. but guess it's a lesson of perseverance too. I still remember in Sep, I called pastor up and told her that I wanted to quit.. cos of the many things that were happening then. But cos of her advice and encouragement, I pulled through.

She has seen me through many things.. and has impacted my life lots.. since sec sch days. She was then my sunday sch teacher.. and mentor as well. The gratitude that I have is definitely beyond words can express.

~

Was chatting with a friend that I got to know many years back. We kinda lost contact for a period of time but recently started msn-ing again. Ha.. We both admit that we are bad in keeping in touch with friends.

He said something that I totally can relate to:

i do think of my "previous" frens every now and then, then i will reflect on those "good" times

Yeh.. I always do that. Looking back.

Just tot of what pastor asked during today’s sermon.

“想一想，你曾经错过了什么?”

~

Start of another week. A shorter week though.

It started to rain heavily just now.. would have a good nite sleep tonight.

~

不会喜欢，是因为知道你不会喜欢。

Fly away!

2007-10-22T11:59:00.000+08:00

Taking the 3 plus flight to Perth with na, liang ying, sharon & sherry.

Finally can take a long break..

Hope that I can take this time to have a good rest.. spiritually, emotionally & physically.

zai jian le.

zhe yi ci.. bu xu yao qian gua she me ren, ye shi yi jian hao shi.

Thoughts Downloaded

2007-10-21T03:05:00.000+08:00

Have not been blogging for a quite a while. Guess it does take a bit of energy & time for one to pen down all those tots and emotions.

~

The transition was tough. Everything just happened too fast.

My last days at 7-E was kinda painful... sucking every bit of energy off me. Went through a stressful and draining period, having to handle an event which I dun have much experience in.. & I felt that I didn't have enough support. It was kinda like a one man show... but I'm still thankful there's Madeline when i needed help.

I survived and left in 1 piece.. duo my ex-colleagues said that I literally “crawled” out of the company. Actually was kinda sad that I didn't have a proper farewell on my last day. Was still rushing some stuff till the very last sec to knock off time.

2 years. Time files.

I see how I have “grown” in this working world.. and how my eyes have “opened up” to the many things that I didn’t even notice or tot of before. Wasn’t really a pretty picture I must say.

Was a tough learning ground.. but i'm thankful for this job. It was what I very much wanted to do.

~

Joined the new company within a few days.. Didn't get much rest & I "carried my emotional baggage over”.. plus my physically tiredness.

Already was required to do the "real work" on my 1st day. Stress.

During my 1st week I was already dragging myself to work.

2nd week.. I started to have tots of quitting. Not that i don't like my job... but i'm just soooooo burnt out already.

Glad i've just survived my 3rd week.

Next 1.5 weeks will be a break for me.. Finally.. the long awaited trip.

~

Maybe the past 2 months won't have been so bad if I would have relied on Him. I must admit.. I've been running my own show.

I've been away. Far away.

I know He's there.. and somehow I think I still "hear" Him.

But... in a “rebellious state” now I guess.

I just feel like "dropping everything" and withdraw.

No energy to run this race anymore. 我什么都不想做。

~

Not happy with the way things are now.. and don't like the way I am.

Not in a very positive state and I know I'm dwelling in it.

But I keep having this phrase at the back of my mind... "离开了喜乐的源头，如何能喜乐呢?"

I'll find back my joy.

~

Too many times.. for too many things.. I looked back @ the past.

"If only I have..."

"If only I have not..."

Must there be a closure to all things?

I find myself very much still living in the past.

How I wish one can simply just “flip & start on a fresh page".

~

Am in the stage of life where my peers are getting married. Each time I attend a wedding, the more I feel I'm "far from being there." Ha.. to start with, there's no one to marry to. But the point is.. Marriage is really not a child's play.

It takes a lot to come to that stage.. trust, communication, companionship.. and life-long commitment.

I use to fear marriage. I think I still do. Though I always joke about wanting to settle down at the age of 28.

Sometimes, I feel that I no longer know how to love.

Have lost it.
~

Don't know why.. today decided to spit out my tots.

Have been "quiet" for a while. Not only in terms of blogging.

Maybe today I had a bit of time to think during my bus ride to work. Went back to finish up the stuff I need to do b4 I go for my long leave.

Bad thing about working in a mall. Temptation is all around.

Generally I'm quite discipline.. but today wasn't the norm.

Guess I needed some retail therapy. Bought a pair of shoes, a bag, a top, a bottom and some accessories. Haha.. full set.

Actually I shouldn't be spending when I'm going for holiday real soon.

~

Thought of getting a camera. Canon Ixus 75.

My Powershot died on me already.

Initially thought of going Perth w/o bringing camera.. Ha.. but kinda change my mind now.

Not sure if I've got time tml.

~

Late. Time to sleep.

Good movies not to be missed!

2007-08-19T01:52:00.000+08:00

The 2 movies that I watched during the past 2 days were very good! Enjoyed lots.

Thursday: Secret

Really sweet and touching show. I think I was smiling away thoughout the show! Nice piano pieces.. nice songs.. Jay Chou is so talented and cute! =D

Hmmm... how I wish I know how to play piano or guitar.

周杰伦- 不能说的秘密

Friday: 881

This is a really a good local production. Very unique. The show is actually quite plotless.. but amazingly.. it kept me entertianed, made me laugh and even made me teared!

We were still kept talking abt it the next day! Oh.. and the 一人一半 song that "pioson" us! Haha..

Here it goes!

一人一半 by 伍家辉

2007-08-09T14:45:00.000+08:00

Pic courtesy of 7-Eleven

Happy National Day! A long-awaited public holiday!

Woke up at 1 plus! Heh.. Guess this is the only time I can have a GOOD rest! =)

Has been a long time since I really spend time at home.. didn’t like the messiness and lack of privacy. Will wait till bro moves to his new place then I’ll start to clear the mess.

Just found out that my parents have bought a new place which will only be ready in 3 years time. Still in the West, but I prefer my current location. Hope somehow things can be worked out in a way that we don’t have to sell this flat. Hee.. maybe I can “buy” from them for my future family? Haha.. that is if I have one by age 29 and my partner doesn’t mind staying in Clementi! Haha…

Looking forward to dinner with the peeps at Pizza Hut.. gonna try the new Cheesy Bites Fondue!

Hehe.. Will wear RED out later!

2007-08-05T00:19:00.000+08:00

I was half-way through writing an entry and I accidentally deleted it!!!!! Why isn't there any "undo" key?? =(

Too xianz to re-type all over again.. and got to prep my sunday sch stuff le.. super late.

Glad today's prog went well. Glad Na came... and Queen too.

Dinner was good too... had yam paste! I'm sure my family would like the food there too.

Need to stop procrastinating.

Verse keeps ringing in my mind... 我的心哪，你为何忧闷？为何在我里面烦躁？Psalm 43:5

It's possible to cry.. to cry without having tears.

rain drops...

2007-07-22T23:54:00.000+08:00

Gosh.. it has been a month since I last blog...

Many tots but yet too tired to pen it down. Time and energy seems to just run out for no reason! Ha.. I would still blame it on the early wake up time and long journey! =D

Thank God this wouldn’t last for long le..

Yah.. and i don't have to do the weekly store check again!!!

Drag myself out to check the Sun Set Way store and Bukit Batok store jus now... was already 9pm and it was drizzling...

Dunno why... the rain somehow makes me feel kinda depress...

Jus so amusing… some things that I've experienced, kinda serve as a reminder for me not to do it unto others.

Don’t know to laugh or to cry…

Love the song that choir sang today. Very touched.

Eye feast!

2007-06-18T23:05:00.000+08:00

Has been a long while since I watched TV.. Caught a bit of the Ch 8 9pm drama since I reach home early today..

The drama is abt stories of children with common intellectual disabilities such as autism.. explores the struggles and problems facing these less-privileged and their caregivers.. Quite nice and wen xin.

But what really caught my attention is... Zhang Yaodong! =p

Haha.. have noticed him in other shows before.. he's really quite cute! =D

He looks good even when he's not smiling!

Haha... ok.. call me shallow... =D

I did it!!!

2007-06-13T23:33:00.000+08:00

Yes, I've finally tendered!

After contemplating for many mths.. I finally have the courage/opportunity to do so! Threw in my letter last Fri.. and on that very day... I ended up working till 2am! Latest ever in my 2 years.. Haha.. guess I made the right decision to quit! =D

Boss asked my asst. manager to speak to me again today.. asking me to reconsider.. but guess my decision is quite firm.

Anyway chance upon the link to this pic and prayer from someone's blog... very interesting and relevant!

Lord I spend so much time at a job that is no longer fulfilling. I was hired and trusted for this position that no longer offers job satisfaction. I know it is unhealthy and counter productive to give my peace and power away to the issues of stress surrounding my job.

I know that my words and thoughts are powerful. I know that I must be careful what I think about, what I expect and what I ask for. Reveal to me the steps I must to take to either resolve the negative issues about my present job or what steps I should take to manifest my next job.

I pray for the transportation, health, attitude and work ethic I need to rise each day to meet the daily challenge of providing a living for myself and my family. And when the time comes that this no longer suits my employment potential for growth, financial needs and sense of purpose, I pray for the good judgment, faith, a plan, networking resources and courage to move on. I pray for the right people and right conditions to create the right career path for me. I now affirm that my service and abilities create value and a great income to meet my financial needs and creative skills.

I am organized and known as a dependable asset to my team. I am proactive in keeping my skills and education current. I am so grateful for my income, experiences, talent, growth, benefits and opportunity to serve others. I am thankful for understanding that the secret to success is balancing my time with God, family, career and leisure.

Father God, I know the sky is the limit and the best is yet to come. Amen.

It's a long long journey...

2007-06-07T00:31:00.000+08:00

sleepy susu

Into the 2nd week @ new office and the journey is really tiring me out... and having to wake up at 6am every morn!! =(

Feeling lethargic throughout the day.. not productive... no motivation.. Hmmm.. Don't like this attitude.. Either I put in my full effort.. if not, it's time to call it quits.

I know I'm quite a double-minded person in a lot of issues and I hate it. Have been contemplating abt this job thingy for a long while..

But dunno why.. I started off the week having a strong feeling that this Fri will be the big day to throw the letter! Haha.. we shall see...

Zzzzzzzzz.... I need a life!

Jus love this song...

2007-06-02T16:29:00.000+08:00

回家

2007-05-27T21:33:00.000+08:00

When I woke up for church this morning.. in my mind I was telling myself..

“是时候回家了…”

Was in the far away land for the past month or so... strayed… in rebellion..

Like how Paul mentioned about his struggle in Romans 7:15..

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…

It’s all in a mess.. I’m tired.. I know I have to go back...

I sat at the sanctuary… feeling kinda awkward.. feel a bit 陌生…

Worship was good… but it was the song that choir sang that truly touched me & I broke down in HIS presence..

How timely!

回家的感觉真好…

~

Went to BPP for 2nd round of lunch with Lena, Zhiyang & Ziyang! Did a little bit of shopping.. Quite fun! Didn’t manage to have my massage cos it was fully booked! =(

Super deprived.. Haha…

~

Start work at new office tml.. actually kinda “excited”.. =)

Zzzzzz....

2007-05-24T00:20:00.000+08:00

Missed Discipleship Class today.. 2nd time already.. =(

I was sick the 1st time..

Next week gonna miss again for the 3rd ! Cos of company's event.. a must-go.

Miss another time and I'll "fail" this course already..

~

We have to stay back & pack all our stuff into cartons for the move on Fri.. Stayed till 11plus and we’re still not done yet! My 2nd nite working till this hour.. Body's gonna break man.. moving office is really no joke.

Weekend's burned too.. have to make my way to TAMPINIES to unpack the stuff! And Mon we'll officially be starting work at the new place..

Mixed feelings.. Excited abt the new environment.. proper work station.. more private space etc. BUT… the journey is scary!

~

Counting down my days at Peace Centre.. has been 2 years.. time really flies..

Everything has become a routine.. a certain time of waking up.. a certain bus that I’ll take.. a certain route that I’ll walk.. a certain drink that I’ll buy before I start work everyday.. and the list goes on…

Generally.. Human dislike changes.. but we’re taught that we need to adapt to the environment rather than the other way.

But well.. we all have a choice =)

~

Tired.. super tired... wish I can sleep forever.. heh... doesn't sound very right.. but yah.. that's how physically tired i'm...

Zzzzzz.....

Picnic @ Sembawang Park this Sat!

2007-05-17T00:47:00.000+08:00

Going to Sembawang Park this Sat as part of the 1735 prog!

Picnic and Fellowship!

U going? U going? U going? U going? U going?

There's a nice Thai eating place at Sembawang Shopping Centre!

We can go there for dinner after the prog!

It's called "Taste of Thailand"

Known for yummy and reasonabley priced food!

Crabs.. Prawns... Pinapple Rice... Yumz!

Just tot of the last time I went... was 3 years ago...

Some "old" photos!

Really brings back lotsa memories.... Miss those days..

Sometimes..

it's kinda yi2 han4 how friendships aren't the way they used to be anymore...

Hope one day... all will be "reconciled!" =)

3pm sharp at Sembawang MRT Station this Sat!

See ya!

Happy Mother's Day!

2007-05-13T23:48:00.000+08:00

Finally I've been spending more time with my family.. =p Treated mum to dinner last night and today's bro's turn!

Went to the food court at Botanic Gardens.. called Taman Serasi Food Garden. My 1st time there.. Setting is just like any other food court... but cleaner and more spacious. Food offerings are better too.

We had Mutabak, Fried Tuo Fu and Crab with Been Hoon! Sedap!!

My fav part of the crab! =D

Busy eating!

Me & Mum! Look alike??

Zzzzzzzz

2007-05-05T03:46:00.000+08:00

can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep... can't sleep.. just can't get to Zzzzz!

keep having disrupted sleep these few weeks.. =(

due to....

warm weather!

dad's thunder snore!

mosquito bites!

and the many things that's occupying my mind.. really tired & weary.

I'm looking more and more like this! =(

mooveeee!

2007-05-03T19:01:00.000+08:00

Believe most of us would have noticed that the "cows" are out on the streets again!

Those cows.. which are dressed like Hollywood stars.. are part of Moove Media's new campaign.

FYI, Moove Media is the company that advertisers pay BIG BUCKS to to have their ads creatively designed and painted onto the SBS buses! =p

Guess what? You can buy one of those cows if you're keen!

2 weeks ago.. My colleagues and I went to their campaign launch cum 2nd Anniversary celebrations at The Legends. Cool.. and very interesting event! When we reached, the recep asked us to on our bluetooth throughout the evening..

Here's what I received!

My "prize" was a pair of moive tickets!
"Hollywood stars" were there to "entertain us" too!

After all the entertainment... fun.. F&B.. it's down to "business time!"
They brought us to the forecourt area where they showcase their new initiative -- The "Hollywood" bus -- it's all abt the glitz and glam!
Glittery lights around the bus... and some special materials that will "sparkle" as light shine on it.
Haha.. definitely not my company! =p

Haha.. This is what Marketing is abt..

Getting people excited about their products... and suck $$ from them! =D

New every morning!

2007-04-18T23:56:00.000+08:00

A sister shared a simple illustration during today's discipleship class which I tot was quite meaningful... hee.. trying to be as accurate but have also added in some "salt & vinegar" =p

It goes something like this...

One day a child was doing her artwork... painting on a piece of paper that her father has given her.

She was enjoying the process.. but after a while... she gave up.

Sadly.. she handed the paper back to her father and said, "I give up... I don't want to paint anymore.. Sorry dad.. I have messed it up..."

The father looked at her and said, " Child, here's another piece of paper. Let's try again together".

Our lives are like pieces of papers given to us to paint.

What do we do with it? Paint a beautiful pic? Or end of the day.. like the child, we can only say "Sorry God.. I have messed it up..."

Many times.. our piece of paper become strained.. torn and tattered..

We hurt.. we get hurt... we fail Him.

But the hopeful part is.. our loving Father will readily hand us a new piece of paper and says.. "Let's try again together!" He will not give up on us if we have a willing heart. =)

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

sky's grey

2007-04-10T01:26:00.000+08:00

time sure passes like the wind.. sometimes you don't even know it went by.

don't know why.. has been in this melancholy mood recently.. nothing happen... not troubled by anything.. but just don't feel like talking as much..

maybe it's just a passing phase... i hope.

i'm starting to feel that i'm being indifferent to alot of things...

hope that the sun will be out soon!

random thoughts unloaded...

2007-03-25T23:58:00.000+08:00

Feels good to sing.. yest @ the stadium and today during worship and choir. Thanks for words of encouragement.

Amazing/scary how people's words can both "build you up" or "stumble you"... muz guard our hearts and watch our speech.

Throat not ok.. feels weird. Hmmm.. Still unsure of the sop 2 parts.. yup.. i tried to smoke through again. Will prac.

Looks like I’m nearing the end of this "challenge". Glad I persevere to fulfill this goal. One down.

Today's sermon on "forgiveness". Hmmm.. Need forgiving of self and others. Need for restoration of friendships. Need for closure. Need for peace.

Don't like to make decisions.. know wat I want but just do not have the courage to throw the letter.. have "promised" boss before.

Know God will open doors... not afraid. Really thankful for HIS financial providence. Not wealthy.. but contented.

Looking forward to church camp at Malacca!! Hotel is soooo near uncle's shop.

To go or not to go to the trip? Everything’s still an unknown. I can't decide. Or should I consider the Thai one instead?

Always wanted to go.. esp when it involves children. I'm not sure if this is my "calling". Was asking myself.. if it is.. why am I not actively doing it "locally" -- to friends or even family members? Is it possible to have "fu dan" in such a way?

When is the price of the phone dropping?? I wanna change phone and plan soon.. can't wait.. I want a "new toy"!!

Have "emptied out"-- nothing, nil, zero. Restart, recommit. Awaits… but with peace.

Boss not around for the whole week is both a good and bad thing.

This week's men tu's reading is super long and dry!!

Late. Should sleep now.

Early day!

2007-03-19T23:32:00.000+08:00

Spent half a day with the team at our dept's store room.. packing and clearing all the promo materials and premiums.. the room was full of dust and ventilation was so so poor!

All of us ended up dirty, sticky and smelly! Ha..

Good thing was that boss allowed us to cab home from there...

I brought back a really "cute, sweet and giant thingy"! (Boss said can't use it anymore as it's a "dated" premium)

I stepped into the house at 6pm!

Feels good to be home so early from work.. has been a long long while.

Parents were so surprise to see me.. Haha..

We had dinner together.. but in front of the TV! We were all watching the last episode of the Taiwan idol drama.. Lame ending! Ha..

Was telling nana the other day.. It's not that I dun like to go home.. but bcos I dun have a private space for myself!

There were times when I step into the house.. I have the feeling of "where should I go?"

Guess that's why I dun like to go home too early.. so that when I get home.. everyone's asleep and I can hang in the living room.

Glad that I can have the room to myself for a while earlier on.. Really enjoy that sort of privacy.. Did my QT.. men tu homework.. prep a bit of sunday sch's lesson.. Satisfying! =)

<<向左走、向右走>>

2007-03-12T20:25:00.000+08:00

Just thought of this movie that I really love..

Watched it a few years back..

It was adapted from a comic by 幾米.

Really sweet... But kinda sad too...

Hmmm... gives that sort of bitter-sweet feeling...

那年的冬天特别寒冷，　整个城市笼罩在阴湿的雨里. 　

灰蒙蒙的天空，迟迟见不着阳光，　让人感到莫名的沮丧，常常走在街上就有一种落泪的冲动...

她习惯向左走，他习惯向右走，他们始终不曾相遇...

就像城市里的大多数人一样，一辈子也不会认识，却一直生活在一起...

但是，人生总有许多巧合，两条平行线也可能会有交汇的一天...

And

the

story

goes

until a part where it says....

"但是，人生总有许多的意外，握在手里的风筝，也会突然断了线..."

so sad.. yet so true..

Different people walk into our lives at different time..

some may choose to stay.. some may choose to go..

some.. we may not even know that they "exist"..

guess whatever it is... give in our best...

Love to say this..

Life is too short for regrets...

For the full story...
http://bbs.comic.qq.com/cgi-bin/bbs/show/content?from=t&groupid=138:10772&messageid=6204

Cravings!

2007-03-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

Haha.. while on my way home I kept think about the Kettle Chips I had at home! =D

Guess i must be hungry!

It was on promo at Cold Storage.. 2 for $6.50!

Had 1 pack for dinner yesterday b4 men tu...

and I just finish up the other pack!!!

Haha.. the 1 hour workout jus now must have gone to waste le! =p

But on the pack.. it says.. NO TRANS FATS! Hehe.. maybe not too bad lah huh..

Yumz!

"Men Tu" Class Begins!

2007-02-28T23:10:00.000+08:00

Today we had our 1st "men tu" class!

Embarking on this 9-mth Discipleship course is really a great commitment for me..

And it doesn't help when I’m always so lack of discipline! =p Haha..

Hmmm.. But I'll try!

Kinda excited about the journey.. the learnings... the fellowship!

As I flipped through the book.. I started to recall going through the same course.. think 8 years ago? Oh my.. was so young then!

Although everything will be exactly the same.. I believe it will be a whole experience this time round!

Have aged.. been through more in life.. seeing things in different perspectives now..

But what I'm studying is the same Word.. the same Bible that was used 8 years ago!

Truly… HIS Words are always so relevant no matter which stage of life we are in! HIS love never fails! =)

Hope I can persevere till Nov! Jia you me!

Oh.. and jia you also Jess, Yong Cai, Pei Sze, Zi Yang, Zhiwei, William, Bong, Aiping.. and many more!

CNY @ Malacca! (18-20 Feb)

2007-02-28T00:27:00.000+08:00

Grandma's / Da Jiu's hse!

The Malacca's domestic airport is actually just across the road!

Lion dance troops was invited to so-called "blessed" the house.

So many "chefs" preparing for our dinner! See.. women cook, men eat! =D

The Lim Family!

Cousins!

1st day of CNY!

2007-02-25T23:50:00.000+08:00

18 Feb (Sun)

Church service followed by breakfast at KAP Mac!

A great way to start our CNY! =)

Boredom!!!

2007-02-20T01:25:00.000+08:00

Still in Malacca.. Blogging from Grandma's place!

Luckily over these few years, things have become more advanced here.. else I wun get to surf net now!

Apart from watching TV.. this is the only way for me to pass time! But cos of CNY.. not many people online to entertain me also.. Ha.. =D

This year.. due to the long weekend.. we are staying for 2 nites, more than the usual one. Kuai yao men feng le!!! Haha...

Hmmm... but good thing is I have quite a lot of time to think through many things..

Guess it doesn't look like an open door.... muz make a wise move!

Looking forward to coming back tml for the fellowship!!! =)

Xin Nian Kuai Le!

2007-02-18T02:24:00.000+08:00

Happy Piggy Year Everyone!

Yup.. finally this year after reunion dinner.. I didn't step into Chinatown!

Ha.. but eventually did hang out with a few brothers when William jio..

Went to this cafe @ Bukit Timah..

Quite a crappy session.. Mr Kwan kept complaining abt his not-so-nice yet expensive mocha! Haha...

Week of jokes and ga-bras!

2007-02-17T17:38:00.000+08:00

I wanted to write... but i'm jus soooooo tired every nite!

Many tots in my mind... many happenings this whole week... many flashbacks recurred..

Sometimes I wish I can stop being such a Melancholy…

It's lull period for me @ work for the past week.. shiok.. Managed to do my spring-cleaning, filing and clearing of my emails! Cleared and archived 500 over emails to less than 50! Have been filing things that were dated from last year Jun!

This is the 1st time I feel so eng at work! Able to leave office before 7pm everyday.. Haha.. Holiday mood too..

Haha.. jus too many ga-bras and jokes for the past week..

Sun.. I have learnt that people's non-verbal cues may not be accurate one.. Ha.. cannot assume things! It's really a joke lor.. Tell the wrong person the wrong thing! So malu.. Haha.. guess i'm a wood-block at times also.. =X

Tue.. Never ask people to "go read my blog for updates".. Yah.. realise it's kinda insensitive.. Guess i will feel the same way too. Hmmm.. Actually I still prefer the traditional way of communication -- face-to-face talk or phone call. But guess as we grow up, we dun have the luxury of time.. Hmmm.. really require lotsa effort to keep friendships going.

Thur.. Sometimes it's a "fatal mistake" to reply sms to a wrong person.. esp when u din wanna contact that person! Ga-bra again! Oh man.. wat was I thinking?! Ha..

Bump into K while shopping with Jess.. reminded me of the times in Mel.. our last few mths in SIM.. and 05's CNY too.. So fun.. those were the carefree days.. Though we have not met for like 1.5 years.. din really feel very mo sheng, even as we chatted on MSN today. Shared wat was always in my mind.. just needed to clarify.. and to "make things right".. Hmmm.. had my "closure". Ha.. this is jus one of the many I have on hand!

K told me "u come across to me as a person with a lot of past... unresolved issues... 心结.."

Well.. I guess so. But I will make a point to close it one by one!

Fri.. had our annual sec sch CNY gathering. So many of them are planning to get married this year! Oh man.. i'm at that age where people around me are settling down! Haha.. and I can expect my relatives to ask "how come din bring your bf?" Already kanna this during last sun's family dinner.. Haha.. I jus bluntly reply.. "No more liao lah.."

Ha.. Dunlin saw my minor ga-bra yest! So ma lu! Yes.. the usual "san shun" pattern is out once again..

Hmmm.. din really have the CNY feel.. Maybe bcos I have not step into Chinatown yet?! Haha..

Glad I can go for the CNY service this year.. tml late noon then bro will drive us to Malacca to bai nian.. back on Tue and I took leave on Wed! Yeh!

Haha.. Last year was another joke! But was fun spending CNY with frens instead!

2 really nice songs... when a silly gal falls...

2007-02-12T01:13:00.000+08:00

Flower Pig!!!

2007-02-11T03:02:00.000+08:00

Quite cute! Got this from our designer..

Next week will be CNY le! So fast!

Yet to buy any new clothes.. everywhere is soooo crowded!

CNY.. hmmm... brings back lotsa memories.. YF tuan bai.. going to each other's hse to meet parents.. buy new year goodies together... going to Chinatown after reunion dinner...

Hmmm.. Come think back.. for the past 4 years.. never fail i will arrange to meet a fren to go Chinatown after our tuan yuan fan ..

it's a "tradition" to me...

I've always enjoyed their company.. really brings back fond memories!

Hmmm.. somehow I know this year will be different le..

Dunno why.. not so entu abt making it happen anymore.. at least for now...

Haha.. maybe it's a sign that I have aged!

Blues..

2007-02-06T23:29:00.000+08:00

Didn't manage to go gym again... =(

Yest forgot to bring shoes..

Today, at 7 plus.. boss very last min asked me to help with some stuff.. so missed the cardio class..

Hmm.. was kinda xian abt the situation at work.. Affecting my mood and no motivation..

In the end.. instead of exercising.. I had late dinner with Madeline at Coffee Club! Had a super hugh sandwhich! Oh my...

Haha.. both fa xie and chong yi chong zhi ji.. Madeline's unhappy with boss too...

Then I cab home.. I cab only when I’m down.. or jus too tired…

May and I were talking abt it last nite.. It has been 2 mths since we last contacted and he has smsed twice.. and both times i din reply. I told May he's not the sort who will keep messaging, cos of pride..

Hmm... but sooo qiao.. he messaged me again today.. When i least expected it..

Many tots ran through my mind.. is it very "heartless" to have just ignore one's sms and give no reply? Eventually I did.. I kept my "new year resolution"..

I told May that if this happen in the past.. me being me.. I would have gave in..

But guess this time round.. i'm very determined to break from the past and start anew.. without wanting any emotional baggage..

Hmmm.. but hope he's well... somehow when i see silver MPV.. i'll still look out at the car plate..

Dont' wanna think too much.. Will jus hope and pray =)

More cakes! Must try!

2007-02-06T00:27:00.000+08:00

Manage to find out the web address of the cake place that we went last Fri after meeting the Shell pple!

It's called "Canele" located near UE Sq..

Wanted to bring the gals there after our buffet but was kinda out of the way.. Let's go again one day!

The cake display is sooooo pretty!!! =) Very impress..

Kinda pricey.. but worth every dollar!

Check it out! www.canele.com.sg

Yummy Tiramisu!

2007-02-04T21:48:00.000+08:00

Suddenly I have this carving for Tiramisu cake! =p

Basically I love all sorts of cakes.. but not the sweet ones like Brownie.

Of all.. Tiramisu has been my top favourite for the past.. 2 years?

The best I tried was the one from TiramiSutra! www.tiramisutra.com

The 1st time was when J bot it for my 24th birthday...

An old pic with a younger me! =D Haha.. Can see the cake??

and the 2nd time was a gathering at Queen's place last year.. Yummy.. missed it! And I miss the "food fellowship" at Palace too! =D

Another place with nice Tiramisu is Classic Cakes at Sunset Way.. the Tse sisters bot it for QX's birthday 2 years ago.. They serve the cake in a bowl!

http://www.stomp.com.sg/stfoodiesclub/poshnosh/61/bakeacake.html

Ask & I was shown!

2007-02-03T01:48:00.000+08:00

I asked for directions… and yes.. it was clearly shown to me that I should not take up the course.. Will tell boss on Mon.

With today's incident with KV.. I think this is not a place that I can for sure stay on in the years to come..

Early in the morning kanna such thing.. it's really a big blow to my morale at work.. first time in my 1.5 years here. Such unreasonable & prideful person.. it was clearly his mistake and he still kick up a big fuss! =(

Was kinda affected for the rest of the day at work.. but glad the dinner & fellowship with the gals made me feel alot better!

Went to eat this Korean buffet at Excelsior S.C.. I like the beef and tang hoon most! Yumz.. Haha.. Then we had gelato for dessert at Venezia! =)

Think I have to go gym a few more times le!

Oh yah.. I must say.. the 10mins express back & shoulder massage at Kenko was really very relieving! Shiok!

It's Friday.. muz chong yi chong zhi ji after a long week of slogging! =D

Dunno why... =(

2007-02-02T00:28:00.000+08:00

Really upset with the way boss handles things sometimes.. Being too goal-oriented and didn't take care of her team member's feelings..

Was so pissed yesterday during the discussion on the re-shufflement of job scope.. I think that she didn't handle it well... how can boss ask us to pick what we want to take up?

Good way of seeing it is that she gives us freedom of choice.. but that really put all of us in a very difficult position.. esp with our new colleague around.. she has actually pre-discussed with me on the job allocation before.. and now she open up for us to pick and choose!

Boss is creating politics within her own team loh..

Don't know why she did it this way..

Really affected my mood and no morale to work.. Guess maybe this ans whether i should take up the course or not..

Luckily at night there was "fun" to keep my mind occupied... Celebrated Ah Bong's birthday at Timbre... nice place... But me and Jess still feels that Villa Bali's atmosphere is better.. more romantic la.. =D

Haha... Ah Bong got new CNY clothes le!

~

Gloomy day today.. Give boss the xian xian look...

Haha.. and jus now played table-tennis also xian xian...

Guess I was too tired ba.. slept late for the past few nights...

Hope tml I can go to work with a more positive attitude..

Finally... weekend is near!

Work Woes!

2007-01-31T03:11:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.. Days at work have not been easy..

Ha.. Madeline would definitely agree with me! She was complaining how "ku" it was the past 6 mths here..

Hmmm.. looks like she's really struggling with the promotions and all the endless demands from boss...

Hope she won't give up so soon.. Else I'll be alone handling all the sh*t.

Winnie quitted.. Handling 1 new colleague now is enough.

There is endless work that I need to clear! Tired! Stiff shoulders!

And what's more politics and gossips!

Colleagues complain abt ad agency.. abt boss..

Bosses complain abt other bosses...

Bosses complain abt CEO..

Gosh... my ears are being "polluted"!

Trying very hard to shield myself from all these.. but it does affect my morale..

But it's really a tough & fast-paced environment... Dunno how I can survive for the past 1.5 years also.. Really.. God's grace and protection..

Last week during my appraisal.. Boss asked if I will quit after taking the bonus on March! She knows lah.. a lot of people will tender cos of the move to Tampines in May..

Hmmm.. I tot for a few days and finally.. I gave her my word that I will move on with the company and "try out"… Really long distance ah! Not sure if I can take it..

This is what I always wanted to do.. "Marketing in the Retail industry"... so can't really bear to give up also.. and moreover.. boss has plans to pass on Winnie's portfolio to me.. which is new exposure for me once again!

What's good here is the exposure I get.. the endless things that I can learn… But it's really a steep and tough learning ground!!

Yesterday boss dropped me a mail.. Which kinda bothers me..

Subject: Diploma in Retail Management - Starting 6 March 2007

Shu Hui,
Please read through and revert to me by tomorrow 30 Jan if you want to attend this course.
SHUEN

I am very bad.. the 1st thing in my mind was "Boss is smart.. she wants to tie me down with this.."

Madeline had the same tot too..

I checked out the course details.. looks really interesting and exciting! And attractive too as it will be funded by company.. Not sure if it is full subsidy duo..

But it's a 15-mth course! 2 times a week! 7-10pm!

Am I prepared to stay on for another 1.5years??

What’s ahead is really uncertain.. I need to be clear before I can commit…

Hmmm.. and boss is pressurizing me for an ans.. Gave me only ONE day to decide!

Haha.. how can?? It's not like deciding wat to eat leh..

It's something major that I need to think through..

Told her that I will think over the weekend and give her an ans on Mon..

I need direction!

Restart!

2007-01-23T00:16:00.000+08:00

2007.. Decided.. I'll "resurrect" this long abandon blog!

Haha.. Super no perseverance.. Stopped at the 4th entry half a year ago!

Always wanted to pen down my tots.. for a few reasons:

1. I've got bad memory - Tend not to remember things about the past! Hmmm.. good and bad lah..

2. An outlet - Yah.. I think and think... and I keep a lot of tots in my limited capacity brain.. lotsa pent-up emotions at times..

3. Jus not the expressive sort.. both verbal and in writing - Yup.. this will be a place for me to "chao nian"!

4. Lastly... Some things are meant to be read and not heard!

Jan is already coming to an end.. have yet to really get this blog started! :p

My new hp screen saver pic! Sweet!

Pain..

2006-07-31T01:17:00.000+08:00

Today's sermon "hurts"...

I can feel the message "pricking" at my heart..

Pain..

Tears just keep rolling down my cheeks..

Cried badly..

Left with a heavy heart..

I need to forgive... I need a closure...

But I thought I did..

Guess if I really did.. I wouldn't have felt the "prick" and the pain...

I hate mind games... makes me confuse...

Don't wanna put myself in such a vulnerable state..

Maybe I'm just being influenced..

I need to protect myself..

tired..

2006-07-30T01:46:00.000+08:00

Recently.. I'm jus too tired to pen my feelings down..

Anyway will do it some other time..

Really tired..

Feel so drained by work issues..

Sometimes.. was thinking to myself..

How nice if end of the day.. I have someone to share my work woes with.. or simply.. by jus giving me a hug..

That's so comforting...

But I'm glad.. I have my close frens..

I d0n't feel alone running this race.. Really thank God for them..

Changed.. Changing... Changed

2006-07-04T23:57:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... Shuen said that to survive in the Marketing line.. I need to learn to be more vocal.. I need to make myself be heard.. be it saying the right things or the wrong things..

Hmm.. that's just not me.. maybe it'll takes some time to develop this.. but definitely requires an extra effort to get out of my comfort zone..

Both Shuen and DL said the same thing.. I need to be stronger..

Haha.. after so many years.. I'm still like a "tap" afterall.. I think they were "shock" to see how easily my "tap" can be turned on!

Anyway I feel that DL has changed.. grown up.. But in some ways.. somehow.. we still have some "difficulties" communicating! =D

My new home!

2006-07-01T01:33:00.000+08:00

Maybe it's good to start blogging again.. Just tot I needed an outlet...

Started to go back to eGen a while ago.. but tot I'll just find a "proper place"..

So here's my new home!